Nothing to share...

  

Those were the last words I got from a dear friend.  That hurts.  Really hurts.

Last words are powerful because they are the ones dwelt on at the end of any interaction.  Think about it.  How often are we careful about those last words?  Even in casual relationships.  Sometimes when you really want the relationship to end, you deliberately end with a firm GOODBYE – that slams the door shut.  When someone is in need, you end with a LATER so they know it’s open ended and the door is still open.  What about when you know that someone is entering a dangerous situation?  I’ve used VAYA CON DIOS. And what about at the end of a job interview?  I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU.  So many last words I could think of.  You know them just as well.

Last words have been a sticky point between K and I.  He is a stubborn, strong boy who always tries to have the last word with me when we argue.  I’m working on it and I think he is, too.  But man, oh man, it’s hard.  In our case, I know it has to do with control.  He is the child and he can’t stand (and is resisting) the notion that adults are the ones in “control.”  I try to explain it’s not about control but it’s about guidance.  Adults have lived longer so we have just a little more information and experience to share and he really does need to trust in that.  But he’s going through that phase of life where he’s trying to be more independent.  I’ll just have to weather this storm and hope neither of us is seriously hurt in the process.

Last words are powerful because they could really be the last words you share with that person.  I mean, one of us could be hit by a bus the next instant and that’s it.  There is no following up on those last words.  So be careful.  Don’t let those last words haunt you for the rest of your life.  Because they will, especially if they are the wrong ones.  Even the little wrong ones stay with you.

Nothing to share…  I know these aren’t final words between me and my friend but damn it, they’re the last ones shared between us for now and I can’t help dwell on them.  Nothing to share…  It seems so cold because in any good relationship, there is always something to share – even if it’s a crumb.  Oh well, it’s probably my turn to respond but I’m not ready.  My friend will just have to wait.  Hope I have better, kinder last words for him and everyone else whom I cherish.