A Blessing. A Gift.

Eleven years ago my life was forever changed.  I was blessed with one of the greatest gift given to this little planet called Earth.  K was born to us.

He’s amazing and I am humbled to call him my son.  Who knew that this woman who never had any intentions of having children would be entrusted with such a precious creature?  He came 5 weeks early.  We had ab.so.lute.ly nothing in the house – not even a diaper.  Baby showers were scheduled for September because so many of my friends and family would be out of town in August.  We were really caught off guard. I guess he was in such a rush to make his mark on this world that he didn’t care no preparations had been made. 

 

He has made a mark – forever changed the world in oh so many ways.  Mind you, I’ll be sharing some incredible stories and you may think wow, what an exceptional boy.  Yes, he is that but also keep in mind, he is very much your typical 11 year old boy full of attitude, lip and angst – I will read this blog when he really gets under my skin to remind myself that he is uh.ma.zing.

This summer has been full of life changing events for him (and the rest of us).  He did some incredible feats of wonder that we never anticipated.  

You know how we say some people are lifesavers?  (I always asked what flavor.  Ha ha.)  He really was.  A couple of weeks ago, he literally saved his little brother’s life.  We were at the beach and Z broke the cardinal rule – never go past your brother when you’re in the water.  Well, he did.  Thank goodness I was at the bathroom while all of this happened – I would’ve completely lost it.  My girlfriends were keeping an eye on the kids and could see Z was drifting away and possibly in trouble but neither were strong enough swimmers to help.  They were shouting and gesturing for him to come back to no avail.  K heard the commotion and sensed something was wrong with his brother.  He got to his little brother before lifeguards realized trouble was brewing and helped them.  K told me a couple of days after the near miss tragedy how he had to go under water (water was even too deep for him to touch) to hold his brother up above water.  Fortunately 2 lifeguards whipped out there quickly and bought them back to shore safely.  Tragedy was averted but this was too close.  I could’ve not lost just one of my boys but both.  Thank goodness K was there to save his brother. 

I’m so proud of him.  He’s actually getting tired of me saying this to him but how can I stop??

Earlier this summer, after exhausting days of preparation for his (and his classmate’s) graduation ceremony and prom, I did an unimaginable thing.  I accidently left K on the streets of Washington Heights.  After dropping off friends at 161^st Street and Amsterdam, I noticed the trunk was open.  I stopped and he got out to close it.  He then opened the rear door to get in and I said, “Oh, now you’re too good for the front seat?”  I heard the door slam and took off.  I didn’t look back and drove home.  After parking in the garage, I told K to get out of the car.  Nothing.  I panicked and looked in the trunk to see if he was playing a joke on me.  Nothing.  My heart was racing.  I didn’t even stop to call D and tell him what was going on.  I whipped out of that garage so quick.  I had only left him out there for 10 minutes but that was not good – for you see, K has never wandered the neighborhood by himself.  He was familiar with the lay of the land but he never had to do it on his own.  I went back to the spot where I saw him last and drove around shouting his name.  I took what I thought would be the route he took home but nothing.  I finally pulled over and called D.  All he could say (and rightfully so) was, “F***!”  He left the apt. to go look for him.  We were in a serious panic.  Our 10 year old who has never been without a companion was now wandering the streets of Washington Heights alone.  I felt so guilty and horrible.  As I was talking to police officers, giving them information and details of what had happened, D called to say he just got home.  So relieved but still so panicked – I needed to hold my baby.  I rushed home to find him in the bath completely traumatized.  He thought I had done this on purpose.  I apologized profusely and told him that though I may mess around with him, I would never, ever go this far.  I would never put his life in jeopardy.  I could finally breathe but only partially because it was time to clean up the mess I had made.  It took a couple of weeks but we’re all better now.  Since then we’ve made a walking trips around the neighborhood about safe routes and talked about what to do in case you’re in trouble, etc.  We were going to do this anyhow to prepare for middle school and just because he’s growing up but this wasn’t exactly the way I wanted it to happen.  Nonetheless, he’s stronger for this and has grown from it.  I learned to stop messing around with my boys so much and to be a better mother.

His summer of incredible feats doesn’t end here.

Just 10 days ago I got word that a friend’s mother-in-law had passed away.  She passed away on her granddaughter’s, A’s birthday.  K went to kindergarten with A and I shared with him what had happened.  Grandma was already sick with cancer and the family knew she could die any day.  On A’s birthday the family went to visit her in the hospital.  Grandma’s husband had thoughtfully bought cupcakes to celebrate A’s birthday.  They lit the candles, sang Happy Birthday, A made a wish and blew out the candles.  It was then Grandma drew her last breath.  K could see how shook up I was by this.  Sweetly he said, “But mommy, she died celebrating A’s birthday.”  How beautiful and mature.  My child showed me beauty in the midst of tragedy and made me feel so much better.

Well, this story doesn’t end there.  So knowing that a party was scheduled at the same time, I ask K if he could go to the funeral – he wouldn’t miss the party, we would just be late.  I told him there was absolutely no pressure, just shared that I thought it’d be good if A could have one of her friends there.  I told him to go think about it, there was absolutely no pressure for him to go.  With no hesitation his next words were, “OK mommy.  What will I wear?”

He was ever so gracious at the funeral.  His first was his great-grandmother when he was 9 months old and now it was for his friend he went.  He didn’t have to go but he chose to go.  I know his presence made a difference to A.  He even gave her a card.  So humbled by him.

My baby is growing up and I know he’ll continue to amaze me.  For the first time I cried for joy and pride.  I made an absolute blubbering fool of myself.  On his first day of middle school orientation last week, parents were asked to come for a brief introduction.  After saying hello and how are you, they asked everyone to make a tunnel through which the students would join us.  As parents, family and friends cheered, I lost it.  Cried like a baby.  My heart couldn’t hold in the joy and pride I was feeling.  

My tiny premature baby who only weighed 6 lbs and 4 ounces – so small that his daddy could cup him in his hand - is now almost as tall as me and weighs 130 lbs.  He’s growing up.  He continues to amaze me.  Can’t wait to see what he does next.