This year's birthday was different for me. Instead of celebrating me, I celebrated others in my life. Yeah, this isn't what birthdays are meant to be, is it? It's supposed to be a day of celebrating the one who was born that day. I didn't plan my birthday this way but it happened the way it happened. I didn't plan it out this way and you know what? It was the best birthday I've ever had.
It started the night before when I was chatting with a friend who was feeling really down. To lift her spirits, we planned a breakfast date - it just happened to be on my birthday. We had a great time - ate great food and chatted up a storm. We even had more company when another friend jogged by doing her Saturday morning excercise routine. (It felt like a party to me - this party was the best because only I knew it was a party. Sounds strange, but that's the best part for me.) Breakfast was very, very good and exactly the way I wanted to start my birthday. I didn't bring up my birthday because I wanted our time to be about her and me, not me. If she knew it was my birthday on her own accord, that would've been fine but I was glad she didn't because this way the breakfast was about celebrating our friendship and not my birthday.
As for the other friend who jaunted by our breakfast date, she didn't know it was my birthday either. I saw her again later that night when I dropped the boys off to sleepover. She gave me a big birthday hug and admonished me for not telling her. I told her that I didn't want to because I didn't need to.
The highlight of my birthday was what I did to D. You see, his birthday was 10 days earlier than mine. It was his 50th but he was in Chicago on his 50th birthday so there was no way to do anything special for him on his BIG day. To celebrate his BIG day, I planned a surprise dinner with his childhood buddies - men who have been friends for over 40 years. None of them were from the city so this took some coordinating. Emails, phone calls and text messages abounded but plans got set up to meet at Ichiumi on August 14, 2010 at 7pm to surprise D. They were so excited to be coming all together in NYC for the first time ever - yeah, this was the first time ever the whole gang was getting together in NYC. Some I had never met so I was excited to meet the men my husband grew up with. This was going to be a good night.
D is difficult. I knew that the only way to get him to do what I wanted to do, especially go to dinner to a restaurant of my choice without consulting him, could only happen on my day - my birthday. The day was stressful and hilarious. All day he was grumpy and dragging his feet. He never even wished me a happy birthday - :(. In fact, he was surprised that we were going out for "my" birthday. I thought I had mentioned numerous times that we were going out to dinner to celebrate "my" birthday but I guess I wasn't clear enough - did he need a personalized engraved invitation? Even our boys knew (about dinner plans, not the surprise for D - they would've have wrecked what I had been working on for weeks - I mean, they are only kids) and they were excited. When he finally got it that we were going out to celebrate "my" birthday, he became even grumpier. Reluctantly he showered but then put on the most wrinkled t-shirt he could find and cargo shorts. Meanwhile I had gotten me and the boys looking pretty nice (of course, I knew who we were seeing). When I suggested that D put on a polo shirt, he barked back, "What's wrong with this shirt?" So I left it alone.
We drove in silence to the restaurant. I went up to the desk and asked about the Jeannie party and the hostess looked at my with that "oh yeah" sort of look pointing up to the back and left. You see, I even told the restaurant that it was a surprise and asked them to set up our party in a way so that D wouldn't be able to see who was coming to dinner until the last minute. This set him off even more because he was dreading that it was such a big dinner party for me that reservations had to be set. He started to really drag his feet and basically grumble under his breath. Well, let's say the surprise really worked. We turned the corner, and as promised, his buddies were there. It took D a minute to realize who was really there since these were the last people on earth he expected to see at "my" birthday dinner. My hard work paid off because I really, really got my husband and he was humbled, the least to say. Happy to be with men who grew up together through everything and continue to stay connected. The night was all about him and he gave me a hard time getting him there. Oh well, that's the man I love and continue to love. And oh yeah, they did notice he was in a t-shirt.
Yeah, it's a very odd and strange way to celebrate one's birthday - celebrating others when it is the one day of the year designated for you. It's the one day of the year when you're actually permitted to be completely, shamelessly, utterly selfish. But you know what? I celebrated my birthday this way because my cup was overflowing. My life is in such a blessed place that instead of having to celebrate me on my birthday, I celebrated others and the relationships in my life. I know this is a rare privilege and phenomena, and I don't know if it's going to happen again. I hope it can and will because it's a good thing. It means life is good. Let's see what happens next year....
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